last night

last night i felt the lump in my heart and understood that to tolerate is as hard as to accept.

to tolerate that things are different now is as hard as
to accept the things which are different now

to tolerate that I can never feel the things that I wish from you is as hard as
to accept that feeling was never a thing for you anyway

to tolerate that I was just a moment in your life is as hard as
to accept that moment is not mine to have

to tolerate the pain is as hard
to accept the pain

to tolerate my desire to feel my worthiness is as hard as
to accept the psychotic control that desire had on me

to move forward I accepted what needs to be done and
tolerated the convulsion of my breaking heart

and tolerate it , I will............