I never knew....

My girlfriend mentioned the other day that some of the postings in my blog made someone claimed that I was actually talking about him.....hmmm I never knew that some man can really be that vain!

Reminded me of that song sung by Carly Simon

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner,

and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee,

and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend,

and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

Interestingly enough , this song is in the soundtrack of " How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". How apt!

I am making that choice

Today for the first time in my life I decided to come clean with myself and my mom. We had a heart to heart talk and I told her about my love life. I told her about the error of judgments that I have done and I asked for her forgiveness.

I knew I broke her heart.....but I also felt relief for letting it out. She was not happy but she understands.

My mom did not ask nor tried to do her 'CSI' on me and all she had to say was...

" Tuhan tu lebih tahu dan bila dia tunjuk maknanya dia bagi peluang untuk bertaubat"

Nobody goes through life without making mistakes along the way and thats how life is. I use to disagree with her about the simplest things in life and her silly opinions about what I do or what I wear.

but....i was wrong....

She was teaching me that with every thing that life brings to my doorstep , at the end of the day I have the ability to decide how to react and control my actions.

Today she understands that she has done her best to prepare me to face what ever challenges that I will face out there and to make the right choices for the right reasons.

I am making that choice...

thank you for the good time, Sam

last week I lost another part of my heart as Sam decided to move on in her personal life and her career.

her parting email sent to all of us was simple yet peels the layers of my heart as i read it and realize how far we have come since we first met.

i take my hat off to you for just being there through the hard times ...and hard it was indeed.

i take my hat off to you for standing up to what you believe in and for being the pillars to those who needed the support.

i take my hat off to Azman and D for their unselfishness , understanding and sacrifices....one of the best lessons on what it takes to love, if any of you need to learn its true meaning.

we miss you already.

good luck Sam.