razeattiny

last night

2011-07-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

last night i felt the lump in my heart and understood that to tolerate is as hard as to accept.

to tolerate that things are different now is as hard as
to accept the things which are different now

to tolerate that I can never feel the things that I wish from you is as hard as
to accept that feeling was never a thing for you anyway

to tolerate that I was just a moment in your life is as hard as
to accept that moment is not mine to have

to tolerate the pain is as hard
to accept the pain

to tolerate my desire to feel my worthiness is as hard as
to accept the psychotic control that desire had on me

to move forward I accepted what needs to be done and
tolerated the convulsion of my breaking heart

and tolerate it , I will............

An obligation

2011-05-10T23:14:00.000+08:00

to explain why you are not in this equation

to give assurance that I must and will be there for you

to obey when I dont think you will either

to go the distance

to give sincerely and selflessly when I know I have expectations

to do the right thing when 'right' is only a perception

to give in with the hope that it would be remembered and appreciated

do I really need to?

A journey

2011-03-29T21:30:00.011+08:00

Have you ever when on a journey where its really bumpy and you are totally unprepared for the detours, cross roads, t - junctions and tons of u turns, absolutely void of any proper directions and constantly under repair and maintenance.

A journey where there are patches of potholes , definitely a lot of surface cracks, you gotta deal with the edge deterioration and constant reminder that there are sharp bends and to slow down because of repair works up ahead.

There won't be a manual , proper instructions or tips to help you maneuver yourself on this journey..

well that's how its like if you are taking a journey to the centre of my heart ...

can someone tell me

2011-03-25T23:29:00.001+08:00

Can someone tell me how to surf to the next blog and not get a page about a blogger blogging about politics in Malaysia?

Who is that girl?

2011-03-15T22:28:00.005+08:00

I read all my old postings for the passed 3 years and I forgotten about that person writing all that posting. Who is that? Life is so much simpler, with no responsibilities, no worries and basically just a breeze.

Then came the posting for the past 12 months ...oih... so depressing.Can't even write a proper paragraph..just points and notes and so depressing. Its a miracle that anyone would want to be near me at all last year. its like someone walking with dark clouds on top on their head. Nothing beautiful and hopeful. Like the sun never came up. Like life is just a motion that you go through daily, with no feelings , no excitement, no time to step back and exhale.

The me then and the me now are two different person... the simplicity in the way I celebrated life is gone. Is this a disease that you get when you go up one notch in your career? The stress, the expectation, the commitment. You get sucked into this oblivion and if you are not careful you just get lost in it. The higher you climb the less human you become? There is no more 'you ' just what's expected of you. You need to make decisions which is so against what you really feel and yet you do it because its what you just need or have to do.

I want my old self back... I miss her. I shall find her. Where ever she is hiding..its time to wake up and smell the roses and let go of the shit dumbbells I hang around my neck.

I miss my body

2011-03-12T13:03:00.002+08:00

I miss my body

I need to treat you better

I need you to be there for me through all this

I promise to give you more attention

I promise to love you more

I am tired of feeling tired

I am sick of falling sick

I just want to love you more

I just want to love you more

There is no answer

2011-02-28T20:10:00.003+08:00

How do you know that you are happy ? or you think you found happiness

How is it measured ?

How does it really feel in the pit of your stomach ?

Is it the feeling of contentment?

Is it the feeling of utter joy?

Is it pleasure ?

Is it about having a great career

or the ability to have a career, and marriage and a family all rolled up in one?

Is it looking at your bank account and knowing that you are financially stable?

Is it doing good to others and being pious ?

Is it only something that you will only understand in retrospect but never in the future?

Is it something that others will tell you but you will never see it yourself?

Is it just a state of mind that you wish to attain so that you have enough faith to wake up tomorrow and live another day?

i feel

2010-08-04T21:34:00.004+08:00

i feel like jacob knowing that bella will never ever chose him , but still habouring that hope that there may be an 'if'

i feel like seeing it with your third eye and knowing that it will not happen but still hanging on to it

i feel stupid and angry because i know and yet chose not to know

i feel anxious because i can't buy anymore time

i feel deep remorse because although it was a good lesson to learn but it was a costly one

i feel aggitated because i know its my own fault

i feel thankful that i was dumb and not a risk taker

i feel sad because i had to pay for my emotional default

i feel cheated by my need and desperation

i feel overwhelmed by how God reveals all that I need to know when its time

2010-07-29T01:01:00.002+08:00

being in love..... how can one live life without ever knowing what it is.

the buzz

the craziness

the comfort

the glee

the faith

the strength

the fulfillment

how can anyone live pretending that it does not matter if you don't have it anymore

that is so sad

I Go

2010-05-09T20:54:00.003+08:00

I Go
by Pete Teo

So long, fare thee well
The dancer and the dancing days have taken leave and fell
So turn down this bed of stone
Quench me with the deadly nightshade from the rose that you belong
The long December rain is falling now
Running down on streets to nowhere
Music is my life
You're my sweetest nightingale
But I can't hear it here no more
And I go...
I go...
Hush now, don't shake or break
Words have fallen silent like soldiers to the grave
No matter what they do or say
Lay me on the sleepy meadows by the tracks upon your face
The long December rain is falling now
Running down on streets to nowhere
Music is my life
You're my sweetest nightingale
But I can't hear it here no more
And I go...
I go...
The long December rain is falling now
Running down on streets to nowhere
Music is my lifeYou're my sweetest nightingale
But I can't hear it here no more
And I go...
I go...
I go...
I go...

2010-05-07T20:05:00.002+08:00

satu hari dalam sejarah ..... opening team. we even brought in the double decks

semacam je ni...

2010-05-07T19:37:00.002+08:00

its already 7th May 2010..that means I have not been blogging for like 5 months ... why?

1. 2010 is unusual ... like i have never been so stressed with work like this in my entire life! its a surprise i still remember to put on underarm deoderant before i go to work ...

2. I am still the same confused person

3. I am still fickle minded ( as some of my friends like to put it)

4. I am still not getting nearer to holly matrimony ( why is it holly? beats me , non of my married friends are getting holly - er)

5. makan kerja, tidur kerja, mimpi kerja ... ish tak best betul la.

6. wanted to get myself a cat but decided not to since i am now renting a room and dont think its a good idea.

7. every day seems like the same as yesterday jer...semacam je nih....

Happy New Year To You

2009-12-26T13:19:00.004+08:00

The greatest gift are those that cost us least

As there is no price to put on it

That greatest gift is you.....

MULU

Happy New Year to me

2009-12-26T13:04:00.006+08:00

Can't believe thats it already the end of 2009

so much memories

so much pain

so much happiness too

so much that I would want to hold on to and not let go

so much tears that I have shed

so much regrets and fogiveness to seek

and so much to thank for and blessed with

I pray and I hope that the future has something worth looking forward to

but then again thats entirely up to me

the rest is luck and a lot of hard work

i still wonder if time will ever mend my broken heart

maybe thats not worth thinking about

maybe its not something to think about or even try so hard to do

maybe it will just happen

maybe ignorance is better

maybe being in denial is not that bad

maybe its not wrong to be numb

Pause a bit and reflect

2009-11-10T20:37:00.003+08:00

strange how life comes to a full circle...

met a girlfriend last night and she confessed that she was in love with a married man, i smiled as she spoke to me

it was like watching a rerun of my life as I listen to all the stories and quotes

life can be so cruel at times but in the end it reveals itself

I fully understand the adrenaline , the void , the pain and the confusion she is going through

my girlfriend calls it "addictive pain".. so so so true..thats what it is

in the end we concur that a soul mate is born and cannot be mould nor build

either he has it or he hasn't

and there will only be one in your lifetime

only that one.....

funny

2009-11-02T18:01:00.003+08:00

funny how i ....

use to yearn so much to walk hand in hand, send love notes while you are working, giggle over your stupid jokes, get upset when you don't call...,

use to wish that i can just sit and enjoy the evening breeze, watch the sun go down, enjoy the sights and smell of pasar malam, shop for home stuff at ikea no matter how ridiculous the price is, choose cat food, cook for you and maybe even burnt my cooking, add my songs into your ipod, watch you shop until you drop....,

use to wish that every day i get to wake up beside you , touch your skin and smell your after shave....,

use to want be acknowledged that I exist in your life, that I have a place beside you, that I belong to you, that you have to mark your territory at every occasion..,

use to wish that i could just catch a movie with you no matter how late the time is....,

use to believe that nothing in this world could be so bad as long as you are with me...,

funny how the simplest things in life makes me sad wishing that it could have been our "kodak" moment

its not funny anymore.... just a slow sigh ... not even a giggle or a smile.

a glimmer of hope!

2009-11-02T17:58:00.003+08:00

Ahhhhh

at last a glimmer of hope..
dare I celebrate this small achievement ?
after months of casualties
sweat and blood
saw the report from the revenue director today
oh god ..
thank god
there is a glimmer of hope

at least something in my life is going the right direction..
I cannot fail.
period.

why

2009-10-26T19:11:00.002+08:00

why is it that lately i felt like its so hard to get up and face the day

like there is no reason to go on

like there is nothing to look forward to

like no matter what I do ..things will not be better

like life has finally reach its end

this is so not me

numb

2009-10-16T22:12:00.002+08:00

Way too painful to describe in words

Way too painful to even talk about

Way too painful to even think about tomorrow and the days after

Way too painful to imagine what could have been

Way too painful to even pretend that it will just go away

baby steps

2009-09-29T21:56:00.003+08:00

woke up with an empty feeling in my heart

must have lied in bed staring at the ceiling trying to arrange my thoughts

how do i get through today without any tears and casualties

how long can i pretend that it will be ok

and eventually it really will be ok

baby steps

lick my wounds

and take baby steps

mulu

2009-09-27T13:07:00.003+08:00

Syawal 2009

my tears just wont stop flowing from this pain that I feel in my heart. and i ask myself why is it so difficult to move on and start all over again

what happened to that feeling of elation and excitement when you get another chance

and only to be replaced by memories of a broken heart

and to feel the ache so badly that nothing seems to matter anymore

and to close a chapter in my life that meant so much to me but was not meant to be

and to slowly tuck my hopes and wishes away

and to meet the start of every new day on my own

and to feel this emptiness in my heart

and to accept that maybe God has another plan for me

and to be thankful that love has once came and visited me...........

Ramadhan 2009 - merapu volume 2

2009-08-27T18:08:00.003+08:00

Time time macam ni baru lah teringat kat arwah atuk dan nenek.

Meriahnya masa dia orang ada

Nenek masak lontong, ayam kicap, lodeh , sambal kacang

kuih raya tak yah cerita la ..bertin tin kat dapur, semua home made.

at least sekali mesti buka puasa kat rumah nenek

ada bubur som som , bubur pulut hitam , kuih kaswi

rindu nya kat nenek...

atuk mesti sibuk beli mercun la bunga api la , air oren la

rindu nya kat atuk...

kita nanti bila dah tak ada .... ada ke cucu nak ingat kat kita?

eh kita ni ada cucu ke ?

merapu vol 1

2009-08-05T19:25:00.006+08:00

kenapa selama ni tak de orang cerita jadi boss ni banyak cabaran dan tanggung jawab nye

yang orang tak nampak

tak dengar

tak ambil tahu

tak akan faham

dan yang betul betul sayang kat kita je yang akan sabar dan setia

itu pun ada tarikh lupus

boleh tak benda benda macam ni di ajar dalam kelas

matapelajaran - aplikasi kemahiran hidup

1. camana nak baca ribut kencang daripada bos

2. camana nak abdikan diri kepada kepentingan diri sendiri

3. camana jangan lupa ada yang lebih penting dalam hidup ni selain daripada cari duit

3 days to opening...

2009-06-28T18:18:00.003+08:00

what a horibble feeling to hurt your love ones

i would not have meant it and would do it without even knowing it

being the total self absorbed person that i am

and without knowing it

some one somewhere out there will get hurt

why should it matter?

'because love works in the most strangest way'.. i was told

giving up and ignoring it would be the easiest way out

but i have been around long enough to know that

that is not what i want

but i want to know that this is worth my time

after all the sacrifice and effort

and if i dont...

then it will be the

end of life ....

He's just not that into you...

2009-05-24T01:14:00.002+08:00

read the book ..saw the movie...

the question is now...

if i am suppose to learn something out of this... that man in general is just not that into me when they really dont give a shit

then

why do i even bother..really

hmmm..

who gives a fuck! get a life and move on.

2009-04-04T00:03:00.002+08:00

so many things to do so little time

the clock is ticking and work is pouring in

not that I am complaining....

its just that there is so much expectation

but somehow I know I can

god give me the strength to do this and the wisdom and patience to get through this

Biduk Berlalu KiambangBertaut

2009-03-31T01:24:00.003+08:00

I was in Singapore for the Wedding Diaries Tradeshow for the passed 5 days..God it was tough. We were given 1 million target but it was just not happening as the traffic was just not there.

Thank god we had contingency plans and majority of our customers signed on the spot.... and Mr Loke who signed 1 hour before the event closed was the grand prize winner - 8 D 7N at the Thistle Kensington Garden , London....talk about luck! Howcome I never win during any lucky draw... apa punya luck la.

Anyway , topic for the week was just about my team, who were there for me during this hard and very stressful time. I was worried sick about how my team will do at the tradeshow and how my team in JB doing the corporate rate structure. So much to do so little time.

Thank you boss and girls, I would not have survived on my own. I think my Kiambang Semakin Bertaut and insyallah I will work very hard to make sure it stays that way. I got this kiasan from a friend in his fb.

Next in the pipeline is my trip to KL and then to Hong Kong, China and Taiwan.

Cannot wait until Sunday!

p/s ok still working on my picture in my hp...

KERETA GANAZZZ

2009-03-23T18:27:00.002+08:00

last week end was kinda fun as my brother and sister in law came and visited me in JB .Not that I was here all week anyway. I was in KL for sales trip and left KL at 7 pm on Friday so that I can be home just in time to greet them. tunggu punye tunggu, they arrived at 2am on Saturday la kan ...sheesh

anyway... we had a walk at the Danga Street Mall on Sunday and I was not aware that there was a car show.This was not any ordinary car show ..it was the " Modified as Hell" car show.

I saw this really "sakit gigi" pink kancil .... adoi and a Burberry Kancil and car audio systems that could pay me through college and probably my wedding heh hehe

One Proton Wira had the whole 42 inch plasma tv in the back seat!!! for what? i guess making sense is not the operative word here...

and a really confused kelisa cum Citroen wannnabeee ... looks ganazz but all its does is move its arse up and down. there is only so much hydraulics can do for you mate!

pictures coming ...once i figure out how to down load from my phone

ok la i am still a pea brain when it comes to mms and downloading pictures. pathetic ha ha ha

in a blink of an eye

2009-03-21T14:32:00.006+08:00

my last blog posting was in September 2008 and lots has happened since then.....

chronologically ...... within the next 5 months things just started moving:

September , October , November and December 2008
1. got really demotivated at work
- decided to take matters in my own hands
- re look into my career plan
- re look into my personal goals
- left my love life in the hands of god.... i see him more often now. Alhamdullilah.
Ramadhan 2008 was a great turning point for me. I really wanted to change and do stuff
that will make a difference in my life.

December 2008
2. got 3 job offers and decided to give it a go
- flew to Kuching for an interview
- drove to JB for an interview
- got through traffic jam on Friday to be interviewed by the brand new Royal Chulan
- had to make a decision.... fast

January 2009
3. tendered my resignation on the 19th of January 2009 after talking to my mentors, friends and love ones. tougher than I thought.

4. signed my life away again to another hotel. i got to stop this demented love hate relationship with hotels.... its not helping my personal life at all!

February 2009
5. relocate to Johor Bahru and got cold feet
- could not sleep for a week
- survey JB for a suitable home
- had to harass someone to calm me down - thank you, i love you so much for helping me

6. found a really fantastic bachelor pad in Danga Bay
- shopping everyday to complete my new luxury apartment overlooking the bay
- very therapeutic

7. start working at the new Thistle Johor Bahru

March 2009
8. overload my brain with new stuff
- i told someone that " jadi boss ni tak best la" , "tau tak pe" that was the reply. .... sheesh

I am starting a new chapter in my life .... how to be a boss or pretend to be a boss..ha ha ha

hentam saje.

Merdeka ! Merdeka !

2008-09-24T21:40:00.002+08:00

Yes merdeka ! Finished my account review. At last......

well the whole this will start all over again in a month's time. crap!

i will deal with it later..now I am in Raya mood :)

Cannot wait until my account review is done

2008-09-21T21:39:00.004+08:00

I can't believe that its already 2139hrs on a Sunday night...

and I am still seating in my office alone finishing my work...

dateline 23 September 2008...

sigh...

finding oneself after so long.....

2008-09-18T23:15:00.005+08:00

i choose my blog title feeling the same way as this song ... can so relate to it.

Found what it's like to hurt selfishly
I was scared to give up me
Afraid to just believe
I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place
Stumbled through the mess that I have made

I Finally got out of my own way
I Finally started living for today
I finally know I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul

kudos to fergie and john legend

this is for me........

2008-09-18T23:15:00.001+08:00

From LYRICSMODE.COM lyrics archive

Song lyrics | Finally lyrics

This is for you..... sabar download first before listening

2008-09-08T18:54:00.005+08:00

From LYRICSMODE.COM lyrics archive

Song lyrics | Sempurna lyrics

Berendoi and Bercukur Jambul for Iman

2008-08-24T20:19:00.006+08:00

Last 2 week ends, on the 10th of August, we held a traditional malay ceremony to welcome new born babies - Bercukur Jambul where you cut the hair of the baby to clean the scalp and allow new hair to grow and Berendoi which is like how sleeping beauty got to meet all her fairy god mother and receive all the well wishes....

I've never heard of Berendoi ceremony till that day, so I did a bit of research...so here we go...

Adat berendoi atau buai bayi ini dipersembahkan sebagai tanda keriangan atau kesyukuran menyambut kelahiran cahaya mata. Lagu-lagu Berendoi atau Dendang Siti Fatimah membawa seni kata yang memuji junjungan Nabi Muhammad s.a.w, menceritakan perihal susah payah ibu mengandung dan melahirkan anak dan juga nasihat-nasihat kepada kanak-kanak. Ada juga seni kata yang dicipta oleh kumpulan ini disesuaikan dengan keadaan semasa. Antara lagu yang dibawa dalam majlis berendoi ialah Tuhan Rabbul'alamin, Anak di dalam Buaian, Ayuhai Anak Cahaya Mata, Kebesaran Allah, dan Aduhai Anak Jangan Durhaka. Berikut ialah lagu Anak di dalam Buaian:

Ayuhai anak di dalam buaian,
Pejamkan mata jangan tangiskan,
Lagu Berendoi kami dendangkan,
Di dalam majlis tanda kesyukuran.
Lamalah sudah kami menanti,
Namun engkau tak kunjung tiba,
Dengan takdir ilahi rabbi,
Kini engkau sudah menjelma.

excerpt taken from "Adat Resam Melayu" at www.ashtech.com.my

cool.... I have to admit the malays puts tradition very high in our social strata... i do hope that such tradition will not be forgotten by the younger generation...it is our identity.

next on the calendar is Aqiqah..watch this space.

hampeh betul la

2008-08-22T18:27:00.005+08:00

Story 1

the other day me and my girlfriends were having our get together to release some steam......

as usual we talked about work,family, life, man and women issues.

one very interesting soalan 'cepu mas' was..how many guys have we dated?

we had to guests each others ......

ada ka depa teka aku punye 400..... kureeeeeng

hampeh betul la my friends ni.

Story 2

had another lunch session with my other group of friends and we missed each other so much , we had a go at each other...

how it came about I really can't remember but they suddenly were talking about me and my sense of dressing ..usualy in the barest minimum and rather challenging to the keimanan. well not to my standards....

it took them 3 hours to tell me about every single incident...itupun lepas gelak terbahak bahak.

hampeh betul la my friends ni

like i said we miss each other so much

story 3

tooot ... not suitable for public reading.

tapi tetap hampeh la my friends ni.

anyway kengkawan tak yah risau le... i dah tua dah ...tak buat lagi dah.

My best wishes to the Happy Couples

2008-08-14T22:13:00.006+08:00

Congratulations to Valerine, Marina and Abdullah...... sempat lah menyelit gambar the 3 new Charlie's Angels...kwang kwang kwang

yang maha mengetahui

2008-08-04T20:35:00.006+08:00

best nye bulan ogos..bulan semua orang naik pelamin...jemputan tiap tiap minggu. cuma tak best bila ada soalan cepu mas :

"you bila lagi?"

anyway my mom and I tengah seronok shopping sebab 24 Ogos ialah majlis pertunangan Reza dan Aida, tambah lagi ahli keluarga ..alhamdulillah. 10 Ogos majlis cukur jambul for Rifdi. 16 Ogos kawan kawan pula kawin.

Tapi dalam kemeriahan meyambut adik ipar baru dan anak buah baru... hati tertanya macam mana rasanye bila kita nak kahwin tanpa mak dan ayah di sisi? bukan sebab yatim piatu tapi sebab perpecahan dan perbalahan sesama keluarga.tak semua bertuah macam my brother. ibu dan ayah pergi merisik, lepas tu atur majlis bertunang sampailah ke hari nikah dan bersanding.

macam mana rasa nya nak jumpa bapak mertua dan mak mertua ? tak ada sedara mara nak buat kenduri kendara. Duit memang boleh di cari tapi keluarga tak mungkin boleh di beli.

ada seorang insan yang I sayang tapi sangat diduga hidupnya. mak dan ayah dah bercerai. dia dibesarkan oleh atuk dan nenek. mak ada keluarga baru...ada adik adik baru. pada siapa tempat nak mengadu?

bulan ni i nak tolong dia.... sebab dia tak lah bertuah macam adik I tapi dia I anggap sama macam adik sendiri. dia seorang yang sangat penyabar dan pengasih...pernah jaga arwah nenek berbulan bulan tak kenal penat dan jemu. pernah menangung ibu dan adik adik angkat makan minum dengan duit sendiri. kalau i fikirkan I pun malu sebab gaji lebih besar tapi tak pernah pun sampai boleh buat semua tu.

sayang sekali bila ibu sendiri sudah tidak mengaku anak .... bila ayah sendiri dah tak peduli...

tak boleh nak bayangkan macam mana rasa nye .... semoga segala dugaan menjadi penguat semangat sebab Tuhan itu lebih mengetahui...

not to worry , we are all here for you .... ibu , ayah , abang rezal, kak jai, abang reza and hafiz. uncle din, uncle cah , uncle khalid and bibik jah will be there for you. we will be your parents.

have i lost my compassion as a friend?

2008-08-01T19:37:00.006+08:00

yesterday was really an interesting day as my friend had an early departure from his present office. the kind of departure that left you saying "hmmmmm"

one cannot help but to feel that life can be both unjust but fair. How is that? you may ask...

it was like something can be very unjust yet its the facts of life which makes it fair in comparison.

of course as a bystander I felt bad but somehow I know that it was an expected event. probably even a de javu

cant help but to feel sad because as a friend had i done my best to have done something which could have had a better outcome? could i have spent more time and effort to help my friend? was i selfish in my own needs to the extend that i allowed my friend to be swallowed by the system?

i wish him all the best in his future undertakings as he is a really nice person.....which makes me feel rather uncomfortable as to what will happen to me if i was put in that situation?

will my friends help me before its too late?

jeng jeng jeng

babi masih tidur dalam kandang lagi......

2008-07-28T08:50:00.002+08:00

came in early to work today ,as usual, because I don't want to get stressed up by the Monday traffic jam. anyway my colleague was already at her table and the first thing she said to me was...

" Best nye hari ni" ...

" Babi masih tidur dalam kandang lagi".

it took me a nano second to digest that and immediately I burst into laughter....memang best nye hari ni.

I want to cherish it while I can.

From Brokeback Mountain to Gotham City

2008-07-26T13:04:00.006+08:00

I just had the opportunity to catch the most talked about movie this summer - The Dark Knight.

Boy was I not prepared by this really really really brilliant performance by the late Heath Ledger.I was totally mesmerized and never in my life had I ever wanted so much to be a villain. It was the same feeling I had when I saw Jim Carey as the Riddler - " If knowledge is POWER than I am GOD"

He has the best lines but its not just lines...its the way it was delivered with such conviction and commitment to the character you forget that he was once Ennis Del Mar and Jake Grimm and Casanova and Brian Helgeland ... I had goose bumps. I fell in love. I felt the fear , I wanted to be there in Gotham for haven sake! ..... oh god I must get my hands on " im not there "

Heath Ledger is soooo hot! well too bad this is his last performance.

I agree with the article by Claudia Puig, USA TODAY on how Heath Ledger "disappears into every role he takes". "He made the JOKER a peerless eccentric".

http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2008-07-16-dark-knight-review_N.htm?csp=34

my advise..go see it! the batmobile was not bad too. sexy!

thou shall not...

2008-05-26T22:14:00.007+08:00

I was in a job interview today...for my own promotion.

Nothing is ever given to you here..you work hard for it, prove that you can do it then beg for it.

1. I had to prepare for it at the very last minute! i think god must have loved me and gave me a friend who offered help.... ok lah satu bala dah lepas

2. after reading about the expected competencies that a leader is evaluated upon...I just felt like running away and don't bother to apply for the position.... susah babe... you have to be a "super leader"

3. ok...so I had 2 most important people in my department and organisation to interview me ( people who can make or break my career)... one of them was so bored he yawned..arrrrrgh !!!!!

4. of course the other one lives and breath on the leadership competencies like its the 10 commandments ....

thou shall not be deemed fit to be a leader until thou fulfill all 9 commandments

I must have sinned during my other life to deserve this eternal career hell.

but on a positive note... that interview showed me what I want to be , where I want to go and how I will go about it. Whether its here or in another organisation , I will get there.

I just know it.

Funny how things turned out to be kan?.... my eternal career hell.

my new love

2008-05-23T20:58:00.003+08:00

my new love is called Iman Rifdi bin Rezal Iskandar...tall and handsome. lips like a rose bud and eyes that melts my heart a million times...

I love you Iman.

satu hari kat dalam lift....

2008-05-09T12:43:00.003+08:00

yesterday was just one of those days that i am up to my nose with work and by the time I leave it was very late lah...nak dijadi kan cerita adalah hamba allah ni kat dalam lift...nak break the silence while in the lift konon.

Si jejaka yang konon nya nak berbaul ngan i : " akak dah ngandung berapa bulan?"

Me : in my heart - tell me how to respond to this kind of people? kalau marah kang nangis pulak budak ni. kalau tak jawab nanti dia mesti ingat I tak hormat kat dia sebagai rakan sekerja.

Pikir punya pikir i pun jawab

Me: "Entah lah dik kejap lagi nak pergi buat anak la ni...." dan I terus dengan selamba keluar dari lift.

Kuang Kuang Kuang... posa la gamak nye sebulan ni.

Gangster Boss

2008-05-09T12:35:00.003+08:00

Gangster Boss in gangstar movie : Do you know why is a gun better than a women?

Stupid Gangster Boss's posse in gangstar movie : why ah boss?

Gangster Boss in gangstar movie : Because on a gun you can put on a silencer.....

Kuang Kuang Kuang itulah joke bodoh yang someone told me while I was driving home yesterday..terus hilang ngantuk.... i love it.

1 May 2008

2008-05-01T09:53:00.002+08:00

thank god its a public holiday........rehat.....layan my mom.....shopping.....tengok wayang......best best.

satu hari stop thinking about work.

thanks guys

2008-04-28T22:45:00.004+08:00

today my emotion when on a roller coaster ride...anxiety in the morning , stressed by a client..... by 10am i felt anguish ...coming out of my GM's office...by 12noon I was jumping with joy...and super proud that my hard work for the pass 4 years has paid off....by 1pm , i was absolutely in love...at 3pm i had tears in my eyes and by 4pm ...i am so drained out , i am numb...thank god I had friends and we had dinner at Centro and I was laughing my heart out while singing to " when doves cry " .

Drove home with a smile on my face..thanks desy and meng li.. you guys are fabs.

Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia

2008-04-27T23:45:00.005+08:00

someone close to my heart just told me about the love of his life and how much he loves her and his fear of not having her in his life anymore.

they say true love never dies... i think so too.and i truly admire and wish him with all sincerity that things will get better.

I remembered watching a movie... When a Man Loves a Women, Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia ( 1994)....

Gendongan kain batik jawa

2008-04-27T21:16:00.004+08:00

today we went shopping for my soon to be born nephew. my only question is , how can something so small can have stuff more expansive than me?

i saw this awesome stroller..kira macam Ferrari of all stroller la, got car seat cum stroller can go jogging with the parents....ala Hollywood style la konon. but the price...eeeerr.... my monthly car payment pun tak sampai banyak tu.

so we ended up buying this blue car seat and a separate stroller. itu belum lagi the baby carrier yang I bought as a prezzie for him. spoil habis dah my nephew ni. it took me one whole hour to try 4 different baby carrier. got straps and special cushion and compartments and safety features and special straps for the parents' back so that they won't get injured....memacamla...basically orang Jawa pangil "gendongan kain batik jawa" the modern version.

and then there is this baby bath and then a baby bedding accessories and a baby mittens and baby boots ( baby wear boots? )and baby comforter and baby bassinet and baby suite ( oh this one is so comel?) and baby pillow and the list never ends.

best best...tak sabar nak try my gendongan and go for a walk with him...ha ha ha ..on the treadmill maybe..ha ha ha

my silver lining in my dark clouds

2008-04-23T04:12:00.003+08:00

today was just one of those days that you feel like shite!

its my first day of period and the pain and migraine was just so frekkingly bad that i 'd rather do a thousand morning briefings with my boss ..eeerrr maybe not la. lately morning briefings with my boss can cause permanent brain damage if not malfunction of the bowel. to add on to that we have move office and are now in a very open space with other departments...where temper flares every nano second due to the fact that our Pak Besar is right in front of us and pressure is mounting for moreeeeee business.

Word of the month from Pak Besar is " someone has to step up to the role and lead bla bla bla" ...ramailah someones yang nak menjadi leader sekarang. don't they know your can only lead when you have earned the respect of your team? or am i wrong? maybe jack welch did not need to be respected to lead ya?

The Fantastic 4 pulak tu are all having pms so that that dragged the mood to an even lower level..oh by the way...we had an episode last 2 weeks but i am not going into that because its just way too sensitive to mentioned it here.surfice to say that professionalism has a totally new meaning now. it did not help that pak besar heard about it and felt compelled to give us and boss a pep talk. "diri ini ku rasakan seperti kecil " was what it was like listening to pak besar's speech.

my love life is as scary and as confusing as ever. nope no comments there folks.matters of the heart is one thing that i will take with me to the grave.

thank god there's is home to go back to. times like this my disfunctional family does not seem so bad after all. they can sometimes be my silver lining in my dark clouds.

pre kerteh trip

2008-04-20T22:15:00.005+08:00

this is my 3rd trip to kerteh. the usual stuff lah...but this trip amat menguji kesabaran i. tuhan je yang tahu.

1. prepare proposal and submit to boss why i must/need/have to go

2. proposal rejected buat balik... kurang menyengat sebab sebab kenapa nak buang duit hantar i pi gannu... pak besar not convince. ye lah I buat balik. sabaaaaar

3. proposal approved after a lot of tweeking , one week to prepare..hmmm thank u la boss. kalang kabut la nak book hotel, rent a car, confirm appointments with the secretaries, prepare agenda.... why la boss. sabaaaaar lagi

3.a had to break the news to my best friend that i had to go to gannu and she wont see me for 1 week. by the time i am back in KL she is already leaving.... sabar je la. kerja nak buat camana kan. thank god she is cool. thats why she is my one and only best friend in de world.

4. of all the good news my boss nak bagi tahu " Good news we move office one week earlier. clear your stuff before you leave to kerteh! " which part is the good news pun I tak tahu la kan.

5. go home at 10pm and pack my bag for 1 week in kerteh n gebeng

6. sleep and get up by 5.30 so that i can check in my bags at KLSentral by 7. flight at 9am. of course my driver had to still be sleeping at 6.30am.....kena tunggu la pulak , sabaaaaaar.

7. " sorry dik, we cannot check in your lugguage because it less than 2 hours to flight. its already too late" said the guy at the counter.

8. "but..but...it is 7.05 am because of the freking slow service i am late and i was only behind 10 other persons before i got to you!!!!" said I.

9. "no u have to take your bag with you on the train and check it at the airport"

10. hmmm not a great start .... sabaaaarrrrrrrr.

Tuhan je yang tahu. kesabaran tahap gaban ni. anybody step on my feet that day will see blood i tell you!!!!!

good bye dear

2008-04-20T21:32:00.002+08:00

just sent psyche off last night...can't wait to see her again in July.

anyway...i drove to klia by myself and since it was rather late and I am feeling kinda "akademi fantasiaish' so I started singing .... along to jac ( jac victor that is). Nyanyi punye nyanyi..terus sampai Nilai.

"what the?"

It took me another 30 minutes just to get to the next exit to do a u turn. i got an instant migraine just trying to get to that exit. jauh babe! tunggu doktor kat klinik awam pun lagi cepat sebelum you nampak the next exit in Nilai.

sabaaaaar je la. what makes it even worst psyche's dad drives at 40km/hour.... i drive at at least 100km/hour...do the math la siapa sampai dulu. kalau her dad drive, kalau you nak mati ...memang dah boleh mati kaku sebelum sampai hospital. tapi kali ni dia ada rasa macam lewis hamilton la sikit kan. tak pe kasi can.

tu lah cerita i this week end. next entry is all about my trip to kerteh and gebeng.

p/s minta ampun uncle. did not mean to talk about you.

guess what?

2008-04-06T12:20:00.002+08:00

psyche is back! for 2 weeks at least....... best best. :)

whah ?

2008-03-19T11:33:00.002+08:00

oh god why do i feel like swearing today!

my colleague sitting behind me, without even lifting her eyes, said

" uh i dah lama dah rasa nak mencarut tiap tiap pagi"

whats going on here?

Disclaimer

2008-03-18T22:29:00.005+08:00

i went to visit my client today ( kerja not leisure ok) in one of the government agencies and of course the hot topic for the day is the new cabinet listing...who is in and who is out.

i must say that its so intriguing to listen to everyone giving their "what i think pak lah should do" or " what went wrong during his watch" stories.

I personally think that some "Malaysians" need to go for Oz Training.

Oz Training ? Menatang apa tu? well good that you should ask.

I attended this typical brain washing session in this company of mine ( who pays my bills by draining every blood from my body), a training course which ( god forbid!) makes you perform, do, react, think Above The Line, aka Super Attitude la . The mechanism they use, or term you may say, is .....Seeing it, Owning it, Solving it and Doing it.

The opposite of that is being Below The Line , in terms of attitude, when you play the blame game or tungguuuuuuu dan lihat.

So going back to what I was saying just now, not once have I heard any of these government officers said...this is what I will do when I see something is not right, I will own it, find a solution and I will take the necessary steps to make it right.

my two cents of opinion says that, even if pak lah is born with super computer brain , he will not achieve or malaysians will never achieve that developed nation status and compete globally, until every single malaysian take ownership of their country's destiny.

macam kata melodi ...tungguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

lepas tu ...eh dah terlepas ke keretapi!

what keretapi ?... nowadays people travel macam jumper la.

Disclaimer
please be advised that the statement above is semata mata my personal opinion and not to be reprint and sent to the rest of the world, i mean just in case someone thinks that I am being overly biadap for writing in my personal capacity as a human being with nothing better to do than to kutuk my own countrymen. Its ok no apologies required. Amin :P

Am I wrong to be angry and confuse?

2008-03-09T18:19:00.008+08:00

At a wedding today, attended by my brother, he had the first taste of gelombang perubahan in Shah Alam.

As the story goes, like any malay wedding loud music and karaoke is a must. We malays just have to share with everyone the fact that we can't sing for nuts. I am a malay and I understand that this is what happen at weddings...its a celebration ...everyone wants to celebrate the lucky couple and wish them the best. The louder the music the better. Biasalah kan majlis kahwin.

Unfortunately, this may not be the scenario in future malay weddings anymore. Someone from the opposition party came and told off the host that loud music is not allowed. I don't know if it was deemed 'haram' or against Islamic teaching but I was told they have to stop playing the music.

Everyone who were at the wedding was shocked and left ...including my brother. I suppose due to respect to the 'Raja Sehari' nobody wanted to say anything and just decide to leave.

I silently pray that I heard this wrongly when my brother told me about this.... I am still praying hard..... I may not be the best melayu ...may not even be melayu yang mempunyai daya saing setanding kaum cina...not yet at least.....but I do not want to hate another melayu for the reasons above. But I cannot refrain myself....Am I wrong to be angry and confuse?

when your ipod can tell you that its time to stop smoking

2008-03-08T16:43:00.010+08:00

I was looking for stuff for my i pod the other day and I found this red and white apple button..hhrrmmm ..??

Introducing the nikeplus ipod nano sport kit...this stuff is so cool. Its been in the market for some time but me being a dinosaur... the rest is history la kan.

Not that I am such a health buff anyway, cant even maintain a normal balanced life let alone have a super canggih nike running shoes, but like any person who is a victim to really good marketing, i salivate over this stuff.

Ntah bila nak berlari agaknya. Ada hati lagi nak nikeplus. Matahari pun jarang nampak. I have what you call a "screen tan".. i get my tan by staring at the lights from my laptop screen je.

Check them out ...

http://www.apple.com/ipod/nike/gear.html

http://nikeplus.nike.com/nikeplus/#products

Happy Birthday to me , Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday tooooooo meeeeee. Hah yang tengah baca tu jangam lah buat buat tak faham pulak :P

In case I resign without a job in hand......

2008-03-06T19:35:00.011+08:00

I was just playing with the idea of having a career change and found something interesting in the International Herald Tribune.

I mean talk about exploiting your god given gift as a women!...

But of course I will only offer my services to George Clooney. Duh...

******************************************************
read the whole article : http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/03/04/asia/mother.php

Foreign couples turn to India for surrogate mothers
By Amelia Gentleman
Published: March 4, 2008, International Herald Tribune

MUMBAI: Yonatan Gher and his male partner plan eventually to tell their child that it was made in India, in the womb of a woman they never met, with the egg of a Mumbai housewife they picked out from an Internet line-up of candidates.

The embryo was formed in January in an Indian fertility clinic about 4,000 kilometers, or 2,500 miles, from Gher's home in Tel Aviv, nurtured by a team of doctors who have begun specializing in surrogacy services for couples from around the world.

As they waited to see if the fertilization process had been successful, Gher, 29, and his partner sped around the streets of Mumbai in the back of an autorickshaw, drinking in scenes of a country they had never previously visited, staring at the unfamiliar faces of Indian women and children and "trying to imagine our child," he said.
"The child will know early on that he or she is unique, that it came into the world in a very special way," said Gher, a communications officer for the environmental group Greenpeace. "But as it grows up and asks questions about the birds and the bees, then we will need to go into more detail."

"People are increasingly exposed to the idea of surrogacy in India; Oprah Winfrey talked about it on her show," said Dr. Kausal Kadam in her office at the Rotunda clinic, an hour after creating an embryo for Gher and his partner, with sperm from one of the men (they would not disclose which one) and an egg removed from a donor just minutes before in another part of the clinic.

*******************************************************

"Child" said I. " You are definitely unique and very special"

" You are part Melayu, part Mat Saleh, India maybe ada, Jawa confirm ada and your dad was George Clooney, the most Sexiest Man Alive voted twice by People Magazine, of course he was my favourite actor too, an environmentalist, and an advocate of peace. Oh the list goes on and on. "

"Now you better listen to me and finish your tempe goreng or I beat you up where the sun don't shine!"..aaah the bliss of being a surrogate mom.

I never knew....

2008-02-27T21:04:00.004+08:00

My girlfriend mentioned the other day that some of the postings in my blog made someone claimed that I was actually talking about him.....hmmm I never knew that some man can really be that vain!

Reminded me of that song sung by Carly Simon

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner,

and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee,

and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend,

and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

Interestingly enough , this song is in the soundtrack of " How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". How apt!

I am making that choice

2008-02-26T01:13:00.003+08:00

Today for the first time in my life I decided to come clean with myself and my mom. We had a heart to heart talk and I told her about my love life. I told her about the error of judgments that I have done and I asked for her forgiveness.

I knew I broke her heart.....but I also felt relief for letting it out. She was not happy but she understands.

My mom did not ask nor tried to do her 'CSI' on me and all she had to say was...

" Tuhan tu lebih tahu dan bila dia tunjuk maknanya dia bagi peluang untuk bertaubat"

Nobody goes through life without making mistakes along the way and thats how life is. I use to disagree with her about the simplest things in life and her silly opinions about what I do or what I wear.

but....i was wrong....

She was teaching me that with every thing that life brings to my doorstep , at the end of the day I have the ability to decide how to react and control my actions.

Today she understands that she has done her best to prepare me to face what ever challenges that I will face out there and to make the right choices for the right reasons.

I am making that choice...

thank you for the good time, Sam

2008-02-04T21:15:00.000+08:00

last week I lost another part of my heart as Sam decided to move on in her personal life and her career.

her parting email sent to all of us was simple yet peels the layers of my heart as i read it and realize how far we have come since we first met.

i take my hat off to you for just being there through the hard times ...and hard it was indeed.

i take my hat off to you for standing up to what you believe in and for being the pillars to those who needed the support.

i take my hat off to Azman and D for their unselfishness , understanding and sacrifices....one of the best lessons on what it takes to love, if any of you need to learn its true meaning.

we miss you already.

good luck Sam.

Devilishly Red 2007

2007-12-24T15:06:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, 16th December was our Annual Dinner 2007 , themed 'SIMPLY RED' and as you can see we took it up a notch to make it more devilish. Congratulations to Shaidatul for winning the Hilton Idol this year...err no recording deals unfortunately.

Also to Raja for his very creative costume - Optimus Prime. Could not snapa picture of him transforming though:)

if it is not mine to keep, please give it to the ones who deserve it the most

2007-12-22T00:47:00.000+08:00

today I felt a sudden lost that could not be expressed nor described in words. A large void has appeared in my life that could never or ever be filled again in a million years.

to Allah I pray to give me the strength to move on and to give me the wisdom to understand what i cannot change and why it is not meant to be

to guide me to change what is meant for me to change.

to Allah i beg for forgiveness for the sins that i have committed and to him i offer myself as his servant. i don't have the strength to do this on my own.

i am alone now and to You i ask for guidance. to Allah i ask if this is your test, please let me learn from it, let me grow from it and let me see the light at the end of the day.

and through this painful process, if this is what i have to go through, to take me closer to You.

and for all the things that you have blessed me with....if it is not mine to keep, please give it to the ones who deserve it the most

only You will know why and how... lead me and show me the way.

Terry Fox Run

2007-11-24T23:41:00.000+08:00

Participated in the Terry Fox Run on the 4 November with the rest of the team..all 150 of us. Made so much noise we won the most loudest cheers for corporate sponsors. can do la....

I'm not much of a runner...but something inside me just wanted to do it for Sekido San.

Sekido we miss you.

Anyway Sekido San left us somewhere in June 2007 due to cancer. I met his lovely wife , May at the Terry fox Run and his 3 kids...i swear I saw sadness in my GM's eyes when he met those kids. I too cannot help but to have a slight lump in my throat when I saw them. I am but very lucky to have both my parents still.

I have to say they are really wonderful kids. You would be very proud of them. We love you Sekido.

2007-11-21T20:56:00.000+08:00

oh my god my last entry was on 8th oct. Has it been that long? how often do we take a minute during the day and realize that we are just soooooooo sibuk and 24 jam sometimes tak cukup to get everything done...before tomorrow

macam mana my mom can do everything and still have a life? i tak boleh pun buat macam tu!

my standard daily routine
0600 wake up... meaning snooze for 30 minutes
0700 drive to work
0830 breakfast while working - must read yesterday's daily performance and today's arrival before i get questioned in the morning briefing
0900 work
1300 eat while working because I have to entertain my clients
1400 continue work
1700 start all my paper work
1900 still not finish yet because sometimes got meeting or training for 1 hour
2000 aiyoh my body tired oredi but still got work to do
2100 what was that i was reading??? read again
2200 prepare for tomorrow to do list- in case get more work from boss , need to prioritise because no matter how much work you have, boss's work is more important than yours.
2300 shit look at the time - gym pun dah tutup...balik je lah
0000 malas nye nak pergi kerja esok... konon nye pasang alarm pukul 5.30 ..tapi snooze 45 minute...
0005 eh i dah makan malam ke tadi? laaaa lupa nak makaaaan.

time to clear annual leave..hmmm

Lelaki Ini

2007-10-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

23.13 pm, Monday 8 Oct 2007

Doing my work while listening to "Lelaki Ini"....by Anuar Zain. I have to say that he has come so far since his "Kain Pelikat" days.

Very few local singers really have enough strength and substance in their music to make me want to spend my hard earned money to buy their album..... M Nasir, Sudirman, Amy Search, the now defunct Innuendos.

I have to say that Anuar Zain has earned my respect though he may not be of the same league as the 'otais' but he will be there if he is resilient enough to make a life long career in this fickle minded industry.

I want to dedicate this song to my grandma. it does not matter that the lyrics dont fit.

Kasih kenangan ku
Ingat kah saat saat dulu
kasih apa kah diri mu
merasa kan semua itu
kemana pun langkah ku pergi
ku masih melihat bayangan cinta mu
dan kemana pun arah angin ku belari
hati ini masih kau miliki

lelaki yg selalu mencintai mu
selalu
tanpa ragu
lelaki ini yg selalu memuja mu
hanya diri mu
yg bertahta dalam sanubari ku
sanubari ku
aku yg mencinta kamu
hanya dirimu

its what i feel for my grandma.

Limerence

2007-10-06T16:31:00.000+08:00

Have any of you ever experience an aching in the chest or stomach when the object of your desire is in your mind. I was reading the other day on Limerence.

I read somewhere that limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses "having a crush" on someone although limerence, unlike a crush, can last months, years or even a lifetime.

And I have been wondering.... would it be limerence when you fall in love again and again with the same person..several time in your lifetime?

Hawiah binti Superman

2007-10-06T16:14:00.000+08:00

Giving an account of the texture and significance of the life of someone who has recently died is not my forte

And yet I felt compelled to do so for my grandma who had just passed away on 26 August 2007 at the age of 77. Its been 40 days exactly and I still cannot get over it.

I shall not bore anyone with a eulogy..let that be something that only i will know in my heart. i just want to say..I love you so much and I miss you this Aidil Fitri. It will never be the same without your home cook lontong, sambal kacang, sayur lodeh and ayam masak kicap.

Al-Fatihah.I love you with all my heart...always.

Hilton Millenium, Klongsan, Bangkok, Thailand 10600

2007-08-25T15:04:00.000+08:00

Last week I attended 3 days training at The Hilton Millenium Bangkok with all the Hiltonions from other regions..Maldives, Colombo, Philippines, Vietnam, Singapore, Malaysia and of course our gracious host country Thailand.

unfortunately it was such an intensive training that I did not even get to leave the hotel building..way too tired.

hence, all the pics you see here are kinda limited..but it was fun.

what kinda training?... one where you mesti kena marah sebab dah jadi boss pun still tak tahu proper sales technique...apa kejadah kan?

4 August 2007

2007-08-09T21:18:00.000+08:00

4 August 2007 my brother got hitched .... miss him so much. Got so used to having him at home lying in front of the TV watching Transformers. Good luck and I wish you all the wonderful stuff that you are about to go through and learn in your new life.

Dont be a stranger ya. Kalau kalau rindu tu, you know la where I am.............kat opis:)

in a country where spitting in public is an offence

2007-07-29T19:21:00.000+08:00

July has been my most hectic month so far..but so was June. I have not been bloging for I have lost all capabilities of having any control what so ever over my life..... in fact everything surrounds my work nowadays. geez.. sad huh.

anyway was on a biz trip to Singapore ( land of kiasu..so I have been told) for 6 days. All I can say is that all the Singaporeans can talk about while I was there is how much more advanced their country was from Malaysia..if not I wont be going there prospecting for biz then would I?and how much they feel that the government is not being fair for increasing the GST by another 2%.

So now all goods and services are 7% taxable...which makes your average lunch around 10-15 ringgit if you have it in Singapore..mahal tu babe! So my country aint that bad lah.... still got nasi campur for RM3 inclusive drink....in Kertih at least.

I cannot help it but to smile and think of how life seemed so difficult when you cant see what others are lacking.

has it been that long?

2007-07-14T13:47:00.000+08:00

has it been that long since my last posting! well that boss that I have been upset with..has since left the organisation..and you know what they say lah..

' you only realize how much you love em until you lost em'...boss you're not a perfect boss but i sure do love you'

good luck and you know who to call when there is a vacancy...he he he ( ada hati lagi tu)

semalam

2007-06-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday for the first time in my career life..i blew up.

got really piss off with my boss and just decided to ...well you know lah

" i will do it when i feel like doing it" ...was what I said.

still not doing it...just couldn't be bothered to do it...

feels like a little kid throwing tantrum because he could not get what he wanted

merajuk..

ha ha ha macam budak budak

thank god some one cared enough to listen

thank you

hawiah binti superman

2007-05-28T20:15:00.000+08:00

did you know that my onyang was superman? ambik kau jawa power!

anyway spent the week end at my nenek...she fell down on sunday morning and hurt herself. it was a very scary feeling ( still is)..like you know something bad is going to happen and you just not doing enough to stop it.

my nenek is as old as Tun Mahathir but of course she is not as strong as he is...but i love her nonetheless. she was the one who brought me up while my parents were in UK studying. god i love her.

of course our immediate reaction is to take her to the hospital..but as usual la..my grandma has her own way of healing herself..

" bubuh je minyak afiat...nanti baik la... "

what the 'minyak afiat' ?!!! some miracle potion or what?

apparently my grandma use minyak afiat for every ailment there is in this world...tak kisah la...sakit gigi ke, sakit mata ke, kudis ke, bengkak ke, terkehel ke, melecet ke...entah entah buat anak pun pakai minyak afiat!

i am obviously not very happy with my nenek at the moment because to me she must go to hospital to check if there was any fracture to her bones or do what ever routine check up that old people usually do ....and not sapu minyak afiat.

but you know and i know neneks are just not born to go to the hospital for minor injuries and no matter how hard you try to persuade her..it just wont work. degil semacam.

i mean there is this one nenek( not mine of course) who suffered for a very long time with a growth in her stomach but she would rather believe that she kena buatan orang yang dengki than go for an operation.

thank god my nenek is cool. she did a major operation and got rid of what ever growth she had and live till today just to wait for me to get hitched. ha ha ha ..its gonna be a long wait.

but on a serious note...i love her and i love her with all my being. and i cannot imagine not having her around. i just cannot.

looking through amber sun glasses

2007-05-19T10:17:00.000+08:00

have you ever bought those fashionable sun glasses where the color of the shades are either blue , yellow, green or what ever that is most fashionable at that point in time? my favourite choice was the one worn by Drew Barrymore in Charlie's Angels Full Throttle

and everything you looked at becomes the color of that shade. i had one when i was young..the shade was amber . bought them when i was at the Alton Towers. Can't find them anymore.

lesson of the day is what those pair of glasses meant to me metaphorically.

presently work is so fucked:
1. drag myself to work
2. tons of negative vibes around
3. up to my nose with paper work
4. not meeting our budget....now the sharks comes in

what to do?
1. resign and look for other job that has less pressure
2. stay and do my work and bitch about it
3. bitch about it
4. have a reality check and get on with life

so what does my amber glasses got to do with all this?

"everything you look at will become that color ".

the ability to not be effected by undue emotion and ego is one of the most interesting emotions that any one in their adult life must learn to master. its differentiates the professionals and the idiots. the life partners and the losers in your life. the true friends and the parasites. the amber shades and the 20/20 vision .

so if you too, have amber shades like mine, don't throw them away, just learn to use them the correct way. and realized that its only amber if you refuse to take them off and see the true color of life!

i can get thru this...

fried brain - anyone?

2007-05-07T19:49:00.000+08:00

i sat for the weekly revenue meeting today.

have you ever felt like you had to digest so much numbers and info at one time that your brain just stops working?

last year's figure vs this year's figure. month to date, year to date, forecast figures and actual figures. corporate vs leisure vs rack rates vs corporate meeting.potential vs loss, turnover vs loss, macam macam lagi la.

its just amazing how i survived the meeting! had white dots in my vision after that! gerun babe!

i think all the people who does numbers , talk numbers, eat numbers, sleep numbers, go toilet also numbers .... has this common smell....its the smell of fried brain.

camana tu? thank god i know someone who is so cool that he proved me wrong..in fact numbers can be sexy la kan.jeng jeng jeng ..camana tu!!!!

senior report manager

2007-05-06T16:18:00.000+08:00

oh god its Sunday and i am in the office working..god this is so sad!

i have to complete :-

1. monthly report

2. quarterly report

3. India Showcase 2007 report

4. career development report

5. complete 6 e-courses by Friday and take the test and pass

6. department training program for May 2007

7. top 20 accounts rescue report, account development report, update report in account management system,new accounts report,client feedback report, competitors report.

8. last but not least report to my mom ..why i still don't have a boyfriend and get married. ( this one is the toughest compared to the ones above!)

i think the company should change my title from Senior Sales Manager to Senior Report Manager.

enuff said.

Trident Hilton Gurgaon

2007-04-29T18:12:00.000+08:00

Lets just say that I was impressed beyond words when i stepped into the Trident...just look at the photos....

Trident Hilton Gurgaon
Distinguished as the best hotel in India, voted as “India’s Leading Business Hotel for 2005” at the coveted World Travel Awards in London; a business hotel with a difference. Set in an expanse of 7 beautifully landscaped acres, the building has an imposing yet serene presence, a resort like ambience. It is characterized by domes, long corridors and walkways, inner courtyards, reflection pools and fountains.

The cheapest room is USD400.... in India to fly domestic is more expensive than to fly to an international destination...that means to hold your wedding and fly the whole village folks to
Bali is cheaper than to do it in any 5 star hotel in India. Thats how things have change in this country.

Gurgaon - Cybercity of Haryana

2007-04-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

Hi I am back!

Way too tired to post anything while i was in New Delhi..anyway I arrived at the Indra Ghandi International Airport on the 23 April 2007 at 2330pm ( Malaysia time) ...Indian time 2100hrs.

tired and really sleepy I queue at the immigration, waited for my bag and walk to the arrival hall, praying hard that my driver is there...as i walk out of the terminal, i was greeted by the Indian heat! its close to midnight and its so hot!! its like walking into an oven.

sooooo many pager boards with names on it...mana lah nama i ni? nama mat saleh je ni...at last ada la nama i. my driver is a small man with a big smile, his name was Vikneswaran. hmmm i have to say..he smell like India..i think you know what i mean. but he was so polite and small tak sampai hati pulak nak kurang ajar kan.

" Welcome to India, we will go to Gurgaon, very near..." that's what he said to me as I got into the car and enjoyed a bottled of mineral water. Gurgaon is only 32 km from Delhi, the national capital of India.

BUT...

I expected the heat and the dust.. because April is one of the driest month with temp going as high as 45 degrees ....but what i did not expect was the traffic jam. I have been in traffic jams daily on the way to work but in India there is an absolutely different definition to traffic jam! Signal lights and indicators are of no use here...the only way you drive in India is by honking every inch you move.....tiiit tooot piiit pooot peeep tooot iiit oooot ...macam nak pekak telinga. Yang pelik nye tak de lak accident. the driver kept pressing on the accelerator and then the brake and he repeats this until the car jerk its way out of the airport.

Vik gave me a short introduction of Gurgaon....the new cyber city of Haryana..like Cyberjaya but it looks more like the FTD ( free trade zone ) in pasir gudang or penang. office buildings and constructions every where....new apartments...mega shopping malls...lorries....excavators....every where you look.

Gurgaon district is situated in NCR of Delhi, the capital of India. The district derived its name from the name of Guru Dronacharya; the village was given as gurudakshina to him by his students; the Pandavas and hence it came to be known as Guru-gram, which in course of time got distorted to Gurgaon. Thus the district has been existence since the times of Mahabharata. The district is surrounded by Delhi & Rajasthan.

i also found out that New Delhi will be the next host for the Commonwealth Games 2010. hence...a lot of money has been spend to beautify the city, Gurgoan included. the metro line is expected to run from New Delhi to Gurgaon by 2008. in fact india is developing so fast that its expected to be at par with UK in 5 years!..biar betul! ...wawasan 2020 and malaysia boleh...we got to move our butt man! way too slow compared to India.

cant wait to see the Hilton Trident.

MH 190 KUL DEL

2007-04-20T18:32:00.000+08:00

had such a hectic day today!

1. India High Commission - apply Visa

2. Holiday Tours - arrange for flight ticket

3. Pastry Department - arrange for the best selection of chocolates for the Consular Division at the High Commisssion for saving my life! It takes 24 hours to get a Visa but they were kind enough to accommodate me; God bless their kind heart! Thank you Mr Bhati.

4. Email all my clients and hand over all urgent accounts

5. Crash Course 101 with my Boss on Indian Travel market

6. follow up with our counterpart in India on the hotel bookings, courier, airport transfers.

7. change money to Rupee

8. forgot to buy birthday present for my girlfriend today!!!

9. break the news to my mom ( i can see it already " tolong kirim beli kain sari..buat baju kurung".... " bawak beg kosong tau!")

Briefing with Boss:
Boss: " I want you to wear baju kebaya ok"
Me: " Why boss?"
Boss: " satu kali dia orang tengok you pakai baju kebaya, terus close deal"

Me: stress nye, I dont want to know the expected biz deals i have to bring from this trip

2007-04-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

The Lotus Temple New Delhi
Hinduism at its best
The New Delhi Metro

"I will be going for a biz trip to India on Monday?"

Thats what I asked my Boss at 2100hrs just now when he called me to his office.

" Yes, you will be leaving on Monday ...do you have a passport?"

Folks that is exactly what i mean by - you can never tell what the future might bring to your door step. So here I am stuck in the office finishing all my paper work so that I can do my handover.

next week's posting will be direct broadcast from New Delhi!

err gerun jugak ... i will only believe it when I step off the plane

to the Arians in my life

2007-04-16T22:41:00.000+08:00

Its my sis birthday tomorrow... my Arian sis

last two weeks was also my best friend's birthday.great guy.they are both special to me and of course they are Arians. Arians are known to be adventurous and energetic, pioneering and courageous,enthusiastic and confident, dynamic and quick-witted. indeed they both have such valuable and strong traits.

i can never understand why they have to get into each others hair every time they meet... truly they behave like typical rams. the boys and i sometimes finds it strangely entertaining whenever they have a go at one another.

and yet ...my life would have been a complete bore without them.i would not have known the meaning of friendship, the value of a strong family bond, of what it takes to make it in life alone, what it would be like to pick up the pieces and move on, to take charge and lead, to be responsible and to have genuine concern over the ones they love, to not be diverted from your main purpose,to have immense energy and be aggressive and restless....despite their argumentative nature, headstrong, quick tempered, holds grudges too..( god help me when they read this!)...i love you guys!

i love the reflection in your heart

i love your spirit

i love your lemaks

Happy Birthday guys!

till we meet again

2007-04-16T18:24:00.000+08:00

psyche just left last saturday . the whole family was there at the international departure hall. i was not suppose to be there bcoz of a dinner that i wanted to attend but my heart was not there.. i wanted so badly to sent her off.

so 1 hours 15 minutes into the event, i said thank you to the gracious host and i left and drove to KLIA to see my sis....hmmm i miss her already.

Happy Birthday Maleeya Aisha Malik Shamil Delane

2007-04-10T17:19:00.000+08:00

my week end was with a special girl and her family, celebrating her birthday...Maleeya is two years old...time flies really... before you know it ....in ten years she will be dating and falling in love. God that can be scary.

kucing kurap basah kuyup - ku ku yup

2007-04-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

story 3
i am sure that all of us at one point in time, had gone partying every chance that we have..me and psych most definitely did. we just graduated, in our first job and we were fresh from uk. budak baru balik study luar negeri ni selalu nye perasan semacam..perasan baguuuussss. so much to offer to the world la konon.

we listen to the coolest music, and have the coolest dance move. psych on the other hand not only has the coolest dance moves..she can also do the " butterfly". back then the butterfly is like the beyonce of all dance move. kalau terrer buat butterfly tu kira you are in a different league because you can dance like the blacks. bila dj main je lagu puff daddy...wow...psych will be the first one to dance. do you remember the song - more money more problems...hooo you should she the moves she has.

keluar la semua anak butterfly, emak butterfly, bapak butterfly, atuk nenek and onyang butterfly pun ada. of course i tried learning from her but i looked very terencat. to do the butterfly you have to move your whole body and your booty like a butterfly. its not just about moving , its must also look sexy.

but one thing that i cannot tahan is when psych dance until ku ku yup. i mean this girl has so much stamina that she can dance non stop in a crowded dance floor for hours until berpeluh peluh macam kucing kurap basah kuyup!! kalau you selalu pergi kedai mamak ke pasar malam ke you mesti pernah bertembung dengan kucing kucing yang kurus tapi sangat ligat. macam tu la psych menari.

but i have to give her some credit because ku ku yup macam mana pun she can still maintain the best dance moves. non of her dance partners cared actually, in fact she is the dance queen. till today i cannot find any malay girl who can do the butterfly like her.

PSYCHO

2007-04-05T19:38:00.000+08:00

Story 2
i looked up the encyclopedia the other day and it says that "Psycho" is slang for a person who is either psychopathic or psychotic

believe it or not this was my best friend's nick name in school. mine was a variation between panjang...galah...zirafah...lamp post....giant....and every word that you can think of that emphasises on the fact that i am rather gangly.

anyway, psych got her name when we were in secondary school. it all started from her being challenged by a group of girls. well they were kinda popular and always gets the attention in school (by the way we were from a convent school and as you can imagine there is a misconception that girls from a convent school are suppose to be well mannered and all respectful in their behaviour and demeanour...well the operating word here is 'suppose to be'. but in reality convent girls puts the devil to shame when it comes to how mischievious we can be)

and the story goes... if i can recall correctly...the girls dared psych to eat paper just for the sake of being silly i suppose and i think this happened in the school canteen during our break. it was drizzling that day and we were probably bored to death and started goofing around for a bit. they gave her a paper cup.

" hah makan la kalau berani!"

so what does a 13 year old do when she gets challenged by her peers?

i mean being a teenager is tough then and will always be tough because you are growing up, you are confused , angry, raging hormones, periods, pimples, boys, puberty...like fuck i got hair growing on my punani and armpits..how is this sexy?!! or not changing physically fast enough like why am i as flat as the airport landing strip when all my girlfriends are blossoming into real women... !! i know you know what i mean

so it could only be too obvious that my best friend would accept the challenge and eat paper. but its not just eating paper that earned her that nick name...to add spice to the whole thing not only did she ate the whole paper cup she practically stood in the rain ,tho it was not that heavy, and open her mouth and stuck her tongue out, drank the rain water while eating the paper cup.

"eh psycho nye budak ni!"

Psycho may not sound very nice but thats how it all started and after a while we got use to it and psycho became psych.

strangely enough ...i personally believe that name really goes well with her personality during her school days. she was adventurous, slightly demented but smart and overall cool.

i miss those days..sigh

a trip to the hair salon

2007-04-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

now that she is back ..i just have this itch in my fingers to share with all of you about my best friend and why she will always be my bestest friend forever....all these stories are of course written with her permission.

Story 1
as far as my memory of our friendship can go..psych as we use to call her ( thats another story)has always been a bit of a psycho about her beautiful mane...well i cant blame her actually coz i probably would have done the same. psyche does have really nice hair what with all that minyak kelapa her mom keep puting on her head since she was young.

we were around 14 at that time and the latest hairstyle then was the Sheila Majid do, Malaysia's Queen of Jazz ( you know that really short concave hairstyle or what everchamacalit), i cant remember the name of the hair salon but its somewhere in Damansarajaya.so here are 2 starry eyed teenagers wanting to have this latest most fashionable hairstyle like Sheila Majid la konon...

psych being the artistic one was sweet enough to draw me a picture of the hairstyle that i wanted so that i can show it to the hairstylist. i choose to look like the lead singer of spandau ballet...got jambul and slightly long at the back. yati on the other hand wants the Sheila Majid do..i mean who does not know the Sheila Majid do? mamak tukang gunting rambut pun tahu the Sheila Majid do. if you can still recall when you have this hairstyle you MUST wear it with big gaudy earings ( masa tu lawa la gantung subang sebesar mangga gate rumah...fesyeeeennn)

i had a guy to cut my hair while psych had a chinese girl. to cut the story short this chinese girl sudah tersalah potong lah pulak rambut dia....concave tah mana...jambul kat dahi pendek macam jambul burung ..jambul burung pun panjang lagi tau! to make it even worst she had actually told the girl not to cut her jambul too short... tapi kalau terlajak perahu boleh la berundur tapi kalau dah terpotong jambul...hah apa nak buat?

have you ever seen perempuan gila meroyan tak? i did that day.... i think the chinese girl has never been so scared shit of a 14 year old crazy teenager with a bad hair cut until that day. i swear there was steam coming out of psych's nose and ears..marah babe!muka merah padam maybe because she was trying so hard not to cry.

" i will burn this place down! i will burn this place down! i will burn this place down"... sampai mengigil la budak cina tu. kalau ada pisau or gunting berdekatan masa tu memang dah lama dah budak cina tu mati i rasa.

it took me and aini ( psych's sister) a very long time to calm her down. it continued until for about a week or so until psych and all of us got use to the new hairstyle. of course psych now has really beautiful long hair but i can bet you she will commit first degree murder if the same incident were to happen again.

my sis is back from London!

2007-04-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

yahoo my sis is back!!!!!! for 2 weeks.

my best friend since we were still in sekolah rendah kebangsaan covent bukit nanas 1; is back home for a whole 2 weeks and its going to be great!

spent some time catching up last Sunday, tho she was still recovering from jet lag. wow great stuff! this is one person that i have always been proud to have met around 25-30 years ago. our friendship went thru so much and yet we can still talk till the cow comes home milk em and send them back out...and we still have stuff to talk about.

what do we talk about?
20 years ago it use to be boys and pimples. i don't get it ! whats the big deal with boys? such inferior beings.

15 years ago it use to be boys and how to complete our degree and still enjoy life..do the best dance moves ..listen to best dance music

10 years ago it use to be boys and how to make more money while we slave with our job and pay our study loans

5 years ago it use to be boys and who gets married first..aarrgh pressure pressure

2 years ago it use to be boys and career

24 hours ago....its still about boys but who needs them eh? life's too short babe ...lets make the best of what we have worked so hard for and some day these boys will eventually become men and we become insane enough to marry them.

well done with the brand spanking newly acquired bachelors pad. all from your own hard work and effort!

welcome home sis!

suhaimi magi

2007-03-30T17:59:00.000+08:00

guess where?

my friend's name is mentioned on this wall of fame...who is he? a dancer...and a lecturer by profession at Akedemi Seni Kebangsaan. really cool guy.

i met him when i was working at one of the hotels in Jalan Ampang...that was 10 years ago. very friendly and very informative too. i never paid much attention to this branch of art - dancing. didn't think it was a great profession to be in.... but Suhaimi said that he encouraged his son to dance too. i mean not just dance like what i do on Saturday nights while painting the town red.. but really study this stuff.

now how many dads do you know who would encourage his son to be a dancer? to him dancing is like a non verbal way of expressing oneself and communicating your feelings. Wow....can you imagine me doing a mating dance whenever i flirt? ha ha ha no puns intended.

wonder what he is up to now...to you sir..i wish you all the best and a good life.

Viagra for the mind?

2007-03-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

i wonder if there is such a thing as a pill that can instantly motivate me to go to work... if they can invent Viagra ...surely something as simple as motivation pill, can make some one a millionaire or some pharma giant trillions in profit.

if Viagra was invented for the purpose of the betterment of mankind tsk tsk..yeah right!, then...can you imagine what can mankind achieve if there is a pill that can motivate you to get up everyday to go to work!! then maybe..just maybe..we dont need to have bumiputra status anymore...melayu semua jadi rajin serta merta! cemerlang dan terbilang...sigh

just pop this pill everytime you see a malas melayu and presto!MCs will be obselete and all clinics cannot make extra money....sigh

malas nye..... Thank God for annual leave.

0530hrs

2007-03-26T10:07:00.000+08:00

o530 hrs...yup that's the time i got up today to go to the gym. left the house after my prayers and started running by 0630hrs...yikes!

some one told me that the only negative thing from this new lifestyle is i sacrifice a bit of my sleeping time...that's 1 hour of sleeping time ok!

in return i get to:
1. burn my fat arse
2. no worries about traffic as i am only 5 minutes from my office
3. no undue stress because i am not late for work
4. i shall have a damn good toned no jiggly pert cute arse by august
5. and of course its cheaper to be healthy than to find a cure when i fall sick

so ..Bryan ...( my trainer at the gym)...sorry boy you stuck with my not morning person face so early i the morning.

oh ya... gave my mom a shock this morning cause i got up so early to do my subuh. love you too ibu :)

i take my hats off to you

2007-03-16T19:12:00.000+08:00

this is for my lovely sis...

have you ever cared so much about someone that sometimes you feel absolutely helpless when you cant help them, well i felt like that when it comes to my sis.

she has great fighting spirit despite all the obstacles that she has to go through in her life. I am at times left in awe thinking how she finds the strength from that little, stick body of hers.

many a times i have underestimated her and pushed her away as i am not able to figure her out but she seems to figure things out in the most unlikeliest situation.

you go girl..i hope you will find what you wanted so much in life..i will be there if you need me.

pursuit of my happyness

2007-03-13T17:32:00.000+08:00

saw the movie - The Pursuit of Happyness, starring will smith and son jaden.

i quote from the Declaration of Independence... i read it and part of it says..

" we hold these truth to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit for Happiness".

what he meant by these truth to be self evident...i would need to go to history class, but i understand the rest of the phrase. i tried reading the rest of the declaration but got lost in the language, its like reading a statute. its what i call jamaizing! how can Thomas Jefferson write like that. how can anyone create such phrases and continue to make any sense at all. and yet it does make sense!

anyway, it made me think what i would be willing to do to pursue my own Happyness, despite the fact that my wants and needs changes as I grow older, except for the basic needs, everything else changes.

but that movie really moved me. go see it. enuff said.

and try reading the declaration of independence...see how you manage

make yourself a better person

2007-03-06T17:11:00.000+08:00

make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.....

and before you know it..i will be there right beside you.

whats my karma to you

2007-03-05T20:05:00.000+08:00

I quote from somewhere that ,

"Karma is a sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do. Karma is not about retribution, vengeance, punishment or reward, karma simply deals with what is."

If i were to have a Karma Mirror now , one that can reflect all my past doings and future ones.. I would be one very confused person if not boring.Surely I would want to do all good deeds and stay away from bad karma...and yet destiny and fate wont allow that to happen. I then, wont be the person that I am now, wont experience the stuff i have had experienced nor dare to try something new and have faith in life!

case in point:

work and personal life has been really testing for the pass week. and I try to reason with myself that this is not about retribution, vengeance, punishment or reward...its just IS. its just part of what i choose to do with my life and i have to be responsible for my own choices - good or bad. And yet i cant help but to feel awful knowing that there are others who are effected by my karma! the ones i love and the ones who love me. the ones who were never meant to get hurt nor benefit from my choices.

whats worst is, i am effected by the choices that others do...i should not be the one to bear the burden just because you made bad choices in life...and yet i am burdened or benefiting from it (depending on which end of the karma am i).

its strange how we all fit in this universe..... we have our purpose in life and its up to us how we want to find that out. I think its mention in one of the surah in the Quran.

moving on

2007-03-03T09:32:00.000+08:00

have you ever tried to move a mountain ...just to realize later that that mountain is actually you! that there is so much more to life than just me... kita hanya hama yang kecil...that the world does not revolve around me or there is a pause button that i can press.. so that i can catch up a bit. figure out life and have a safety net went i fall..

i need my cafergot!

my prayers

2007-02-28T19:50:00.000+08:00

to the boys who will be travelling this week and next week. i know the road is full of obstacles, i know that tomorrow's dream are built on today's sacrifices. good luck and hang in there!

when life was simpler and i am as who i am

2007-02-28T19:18:00.000+08:00

remember those days when life was simpler? when the most horrible thing that could happen to you is when you dont get changed or fed on time? and your family is your world and nothing comes in between you and them!
i count my blessings every day for my happy childhood....irreplaceable...just like you.

Tak Seindah Wajah

2007-02-20T22:16:00.000+08:00

This is a song sung by the legendary Tan Sri S.M Salim. I would call this song as a song that is complete in every sense - "yang cukup sifat nya". Its beautiful, mesmerising, full of depth : "susunan ayat yang sungguh indah lagi berkias, di hidupkan dengan nyanyian yang hanya Tan Sri sahaja yang tahu lenggok irama dan lemah gemalai nya".

and if there is any way to describe how I feel tonight...its like "Tak Seindah Wajah"...every word reflects my insensitivity either consciously or subconsciously, in this life or before and I feel that I am but just one lonely person in this world with all the wish that life is perfect and I am thankful that there is a soul out there who cares for me and reminds me of where i belong and where i come from. and life is only worth living when you share it with the one you love.

I am but indebted to you.

Tak Seindah Wajah - Tan Sri S.M Salim
Kusangka aur di pinggir tebing
Kiranya tebu di pinggir bibir
Kusangka jujur pancaran batin
Rupanya palsu penghias zahir

Kukira hati jiwa nurani
Suci seindah wajah terbayang
Kukira puji seikhlas budi
Kulupa lidah tidak bertulang

Di manis gula semut binasa
Kail berduri bersalut umpan
Di manis kata insan terlena
Kerana budi hamba terkorban

Inikah dia lakunan hidup
Di pentas dunia insan berpura
Tipu dan daya pencapai maksud
Budi dan harta merangkum noda

pics from my cybershot vol1

2007-02-17T12:00:00.000+08:00

look closely and u will see Charlie's Angels hiding in Maldives - I miss you guys la.....